Salu-Salo Espesyal

AUGUST 5 – 25, 2017

Our Specialties for Salo-Salo Espesyal

With our daily consumption of the ongoing Marawi siege, skyrocketing body count, and falling peso, it’s easy to be desensitized and think that we are safe from harm. Tokhang is only for the poor, or is it? But here at Salo-Salo Espesyal, whipped up by Kalye Kolektib, we offer you a smorgasbord of our individual and collective visions into what’s happening around us, hopeful that they can fill up your appetite for some real-life, meaningful action. We believe that rich or poor, addicts or not, all of us Filipinos share the same table where we are free to discuss issues and disagree with each other. Here are our delectable specialties that will have you shookt!, as the millennials would say. Kaon ta! Mangan na! Let’s feast!

“Popcorn Brains” by Anthony Victoria

For some appetizer, why not dip your hand into the bowl and get a handful of bullets?  Do it with some impunity, could you? Don’t worry, none of the bullets have been used, we think. A side-dish of extrajudicial killings not included.

 

“Cosmic Egg Platter” by Ionnis Sicuya

As science tells us, all of us came from an egg, but with this dish, you’ll get one fully alive, articulate, able to converse about feminism. She is no biblical Eve who came from a man’s rib. She can even throw you a cosmic yolk, for some good measure.

 

“Intimations of Anonimity” by Ivy Floresca

Problem is, we are always engrossed with our own thoughts. Why not pick some brains, literally? Be careful, though. One wrong move and a hand could suddenly strike and strangle you. But that’s a small price for some bolt of illumination, don’t you think?

 

“Dog Eat Dog World” by Arvi Feleo

Does it remind of you of something alive, something once human? That’s a visual of how the rich feasts upon the labor of the masses on which they have built their massive enterprises. If you are poor, it’s your fault, they say. It’s a dog-eat-dog-world anyway.

 

“Bullet Rice and Breaded Gun” Kirby Roxas

You’ll have an idea of the terror of someone on his knees begging for his life once you have this dish. Unless of course you are the executioner, and the breaded gun is no extraordinary fare for you. You even manage to put it beside a corpse, claiming nanlaban!

 

“Buy One, Take One” One by Rai Cruz

A Filipino buffet table is not complete without a lechon, and here we offer it to you with all its mechanisms still intact. We have removed the luscious skin so you’ll have an idea that it was once a sentient being. If only our corrupt congressmen could only be charcoal-grilled this way!

 

“Kombulsyon Espesyal” by Alfredo Esquillo

Indulge yourself with the nightmare vision of being eaten alive by your own thoughts, also known as narcissism. In this surreal delicacy, we pretty much know we’re all headed, not in the belly of the whale but in the intestinal tract of a ravenous piranha.

 

“Sweet Remedies” by Dennis Atienza

For dessert, have a slice of this white, sugary confection. Upon closer look, you’ll see that it’s a cake made in the time of war, brimming with forks. We are certain that it will strip your tongue off of your middle-class pretensions.

 

“De Bote” by Robert Besana

After taking your fill of these mouth-watering dishes, why not wash it down with a bottle of beer? But we would like to warn you: once you take a bottle to your lips, it might come alive and start talking about the failures of neo-liberalism.

– Carlomar Archangel Daona